Ron Bailey Bulletins

PSA... wonderful

2011-10-13T04:02:00.001-07:00

These bulletins may well lapse into silence now. I have a regular blood test; what is known as a super-senstive psa. These are scheduled at six monthly intervals and are then followed up with a telephone conversation with the Urology Dept at the Royal Berkshire Hospital.

A reading of anything less that 0.03 is good news. The latest reading was 0.01, which according to the Urology Dept is 'wonderful'. So they will continue the six monthly blood tests and unless there is something very different to report this will be the last bulletin.

...and a final opportunity to say thank you to so many who have prayed so faithfully over the last couple of years. I am more grateful than I can express and only ask you for prayer that Wesley's great birthday hymn will find its fulfilment in this 'remnant of days'.

In a rapture of joy
My life I employ,
The God of my life to proclaim:
'Tis worth living for this,
To administer bliss
And salvation in Jesus's name.

My remnant of days
I spend in His praise
Who died the whole world to redeem;
Be they many, or few,
My days are His due,
And they all are devoted to Him.

The Best

2011-09-01T04:59:00.001-07:00

I visited the Cardiology Dept this morning at the Royal Berkshire Hospital so they could check up on the ongoing progress of the 'stent'. The transformation is really quite amazing and I enjoyed telling the surgeon the differences it had made. I walked, with two grandsons, around a 2 mile lake last Saturday! Remarkable when you consider that I could not walk 100 yards without acute discomfort and had got to the stage where I needed to sit down after using my battery operated toothbrush!

I thought you might like to hear a some of his comments;

"It is the best one I have ever done. It is a marked success."

"It is the best one my colleague has ever seen."

"It will become one of our slides for future teaching purposes."

Of course, behind the surgeon's hand was another and I am genuinely grateful to both, and to you for your continued prayer.

Full steam ahead?

2011-07-29T01:25:00.001-07:00

I promised to keep folks in the loop as regards by 'capella stent' procedure. It went very well and the procedure team were very excited at the instant improvement of circulation. I am still on a cocktail of drugs but am feeling stronger by the day. The last couple of days I have done my morning mile-walk with the dog whereas before I couldn't manage 100 yards.

A couple of Biblebase Second Thoughts blogs will tell you how I am feeling.

the red river of life
transformed... in a heart beat

thank you all again for love and prayer.

a Capella Stent?

2011-06-27T08:16:00.001-07:00

For someone who had just the vaguest notions of human biology the last couple of years have been quite a steep learning curve. This is not a reference to unaccompanied singing! The angiogram went well and established that fact that I have some bifurcation vascular damage and that I am to return to the Cardiology Unit on 15th July for treatment. The treatment is likely to be a 'Capella Stent'. I am going to leave it to the interested, and non-squeamish to 'google' these terms if you want more details.

My doctor son reckons that it is really good that this has been established and treatment is now in hand! I am sure he is right!

I am now on quite a cocktail of medication which is designed to keep things in order until the treatment. Some of these are having an impact on the energy levels again but otherwise I feel pretty good.

Thank you again for all your love and prayer. I will try to keep you in the loop.

General update and a ps

2011-06-17T02:28:00.001-07:00

It occurred to me that I haven't updated this for quite some time. No news IS good news... generally.

A couple of months ago I had one of my six-monthly PSA tests in which the PSA levels were 'undetectable' which means there is no sign of the prostate cancer. How easy it is to take things for granted! I am grateful to the Lord and to my many friends who pray regularly for me and my family. Some I don't even know by name and then 'out of the blue' comes a note or a comment which says 'you don't know me, but we have been praying...' It is very humbling to be part of the family of God! So on the prostate cancer front things are looking good and the medics are very pleased with things as they are.

My energy levels are still not back to anything like what they were but are still improving. I am back to my normal loads in preaching in the UK but have not committed to any overseas visits at present. In May/June I have been preaching away from home almost every other week, shared in a 5 day residential conference in Devon and conducted a series of 10 studies on an Introduction to the Bible at a nearby mini-bible school. The surgery also left me with some mild incontinence issues but they are manageable and I am in good spirits. I have taken to 'sitting on a stool' when preaching and folks are accommodating to that pretty well.

and then the ps... A couple of months ago I began to experience odd and erratic pains in my arms and wrists when walking the dog and these increased until I could really only walk a hundred yards or so without extreme discomfort. There was no breathlessness although the pains subsided after rest. My GP decided to examine two suspects; a trapped nerve in the spinal column and the possibility of angina. I have had Xray examinations which confirmed that I have a fusion of a couple of disks in my spine which could certainly be the cause... it seemed we had our chief suspect... but then I had some heart tests yesterday, ECG and treadmill stress tests, which showed 'positive' so angina in back among the suspects too. I am scheduled for an 'urgent' angiogram on 24th July. In the meantime I am now on a daily beta-blocker in addition to my other medications.

I have always been blessed with a robust health and vigorous energy level so the last couple of years have been 'different' to say the least. What is not different is the particular loving care of a 'Father' who knows what things we have need of and has who has personally supervised each step of this journey. Our times are still and absolutely 'in his hands'.

I will try to keep you posted as the next chapter unfolds! Much love to you all and thank you all again for all your love and prayer.

No news is good news...

2011-04-21T07:28:00.001-07:00

From time to time in the last six months folks have 'complained' that these blogs have not been updated. My apologies but really there was just nothing to say.

When my intensive radio therapy came to an end the medics did a PSA test. In that I don't have the P(rostate) part of this the test ought to reveal a negligible PSA. This was also to provide a bench mark point for future PSA tests. It was hardly measurable. For the future this is how we monitor my condition.

I have just received the results of my 6 monthly PSA check and the results are that my PSA levels are 'undetectable', either zero or under the 'radar' of the the PSA test. This is the best possible 'test result'. It implies that there is no trace of my prostate cancer. While I am grateful to all the medical care that I have received, I am also conscious that I have not just been in the hands of the medics. Thank you so much for all your prayer and love.

As regards 'after effects', there are some. My energy levels are very much better although when I get tired I do get very tired! I take a nap most afternoons and I am doing well on this. I am back to pretty much my old schedules for preaching and have some extra tasks coming online soon. It has also left me with a measure of incontinence. This is mild and easily manageable but does mean that longer journeys take a little more organisation and I am not planning any flights for the time being.

I am feeling well and looking forward to lots of things I want to do. I am well advanced with my first book called 'The Better Covenant'. It is in the final stages of proof-reading and will hopefully be available on Amazon and with ebook and Kindle versions. Watch this space!

Again, my love to you all and my continual thanks for standing with us during these last 12 months. Surely our times are in His hands.

Loosing the moorings

2011-02-02T10:38:00.001-08:00

A few folk have commented recently that there have been no updates since September so let's see if we can improve on that.

Really there is nothing to report except the steady restoring of stamina. I am discovering that currently I cannot do 'morning, noon and night'; any two but not all three. If I do all three the next day leaves me pretty well wiped out.

Last weekend I travelled to Liverpool to be with one of the churches there for the whole of the Sunday. I have been preaching occasionally at home here in Reading but the combination of travelling to a location, preaching in the morning, talking all afternoon, preaching in the evening and travelling back the same day is too much to contemplate just now. Time was when I could have taken it in my stride but currently I am having to measure my energies a little more carefully.

I took the train to Liverpool on Saturday afternoon, preached at the morning meeting, chatted throughout lunch, TOOK AN AFTERNOON NAP, and then preached again in the evening. I left the train journey home until Monday. It all went very well. It was a delight to be with the saints and to share the word of God and renew many old friendships. The danger is, of course, that the adrenalin starts circulating and you forget that you are going to have to pay for it a little later on. The journey home was a bit messy with points closures and more changes of train than expected but it all went well.

On Tuesday I took a quiet day off and slept a couple of times! All in all it went well and I am encouraged. I have a diary of appointments building up now and I want to keep a eye of how it all works out.

I am still doing the 'Speakers' Corner' sessions in the fellowship here and have returned to editing my book. I have now sent the first few chapters and synopses of the others to a prospective publisher; I await their comments! We now have a busy weekend scheduled with a family wedding in Norfolk so life is slowly returning to normal! Thank you all again for all your prayer and good wishes. I have a monitoring appointment in a couple of months and I will do a post when that is done. Love to you all.

on course

2010-09-28T10:01:00.001-07:00

My apologies to the folk who have been writing for an update. I was waiting for a significant appointment with my radiologist today.

A few days ago I had a blood test and the results were sent to the radiologist prior to this appointment. We are using the PSA (Prostate Specific Antigen) count to monitor any cancerous activity associated with the original prostate cancer. The aggressive nature of the cancer means it was important to make sure that no stray cancerous cells from the prostate had missed the surgery or the radio therapy. In that I don't now have a prostate, it ought to be zero or pretty close to it. The PSA was too low to be measured which it just the result we all wanted. So we are on course. When we rest in God's care we are never really 'off course' but this is the medical view of things.

The process now is that I have no more treatment or appointments for the next 6 months and then we have another blood check and what is called a telephone appointment; that means that I will talk over the results of the next blood check with my Urologist or one of his specialist nurses. So... no more doctors/hospital appointments for 6 months; that is a pleasant prospect.

On the practical level my strength is slowly improving and my continence management is also 'on course'. So, many, many thanks for all your love and prayer; it, and the fellowship it speaks of, have been a great encouragement over these last 10 months.

Please pray for wisdom in the choices I need to make for writing and preaching in the coming months. I want this to be 'on course' too. Again, many thanks and much love to you all.

a brief catch-up

2010-09-14T07:20:00.001-07:00

I have had one or two enquiries as to my ongoing health so I thought I would drop a line.

Things seem to be going well. I have an appointment with the radiologist later this month. It was to have been this last month but a visit to a brother's funeral on the day of the appointment put it back a month. I shall have a PSA test next week in preparation for the appointment.

Health-wise I think I am well, strength-wise has been something of a revelation. I am still very tired and my 'get up and go' has certainly 'got up and gone!' I read an interesting prayer the other day...

Do not cast me off in the time of old age; Do not forsake me when my strength fails. Psa 71:9 NKJV

I don't feel at all 'cast off' but I understand the sentiment. The psalmist is sustained my his remembrance of God's faithfulness from childhood, through youth, to 'hoar hairs', as the old version puts it. We do rejoice in our faithful God. I will post again when I have had my appointment.

Thank you for your love and prayer.

Radiotherapy completed.

2010-07-21T07:29:00.001-07:00

Well, it has seemed a long time but my six and a half weeks of radiotherapy are completed. Apparently any side effects should peak in about a week's time and then it is just a gentle climb back... I have been able to get quite a bit of reading done waiting for broken machines to be mended. The machines are very sophisticated and high maintenance and I guess I don't want to hear the radiotherapists say 'well it's pointing in roughly the right direction'!

I have a final appointment with the radiologist at the end of August.

I have been very well but am feeling very tired just at present. There is grace for this too. My times are still in His hands.

take it easy

2010-07-07T11:58:00.001-07:00

I had never realised just how 'busy' being unwell could be. This morning I started with a visit to the local blood clinic for samples to be taken for further tests. Then a couple of hours later I had my daily visit to the radiotherapy unit at the Royal Berkshire Hospital. Then just time for a brief bite of lunch and an emergency visit to the dentist for some attention...

At the radiotherapy centre they say "you will be tired, take it easy..."

Tell me about it! ;-)

half way through

2010-06-28T12:55:00.001-07:00

Just a quick update. I am mid-way through my radiotherapy, 16/32 as they say here. All seems to be going well. I have not experienced much loss in energy and natural functions are fairly steady.

The treatment only takes about 5 minutes and most of that is getting me just in the right position. The radiotherapist constantly call out numbers to each other to ensure that I am just in the right spot for the treatment. One of the therapists today said, "you are really good at this. You are relaxed so it is easy to get you into position"

I didn't tell her my secret. I have had a mother, wife, four daughters and two granddaughters... I am used to being manipulated by the gentler sex!

2 down, 30 to go

2010-06-09T01:28:00.001-07:00

I have begun my course of radiotherapy. I have 32 sessions scheduled and have had the first two. The sessions themselves are painless, except for the waiting, but there are likely to be some side-effects in tiredness and some body functions. All is normal at present and I work on the principle that 'grace' is given 'in time of need', so I will not try to carry tomorrow's burdens with today's grace! Love to you all.

Three Tattoos

2010-05-26T02:11:00.001-07:00

It has been a while and one or two folk have requested an update so here we go.

Progress has been steady and energy levels rising. This is all as expected. When folk see me they always comment as to how well I look. In fact I have retained my usual colouring throughout; I always look well, unless I am very tired. I sometimes think when the time comes for me to lie in my box someone is bound to say 'doesn't he look well'!

Yesterday I had a CT scan and three tattoos. These are tiny location points (no eagles or tigers!!) to help the alignment of the radiotherapy that is now scheduled to begin on 7th June. The radiotherapy course of treatment will be 5 days per week for 6 and a half weeks.

As the treatment progresses there is likelihood of various alterations in bodily functions; I won't embarrass you with the details but there is likely to be further dip in energy levels. We continue to look to the Lord for his hand on the whole process. Thank you to all who care and pray; we are in your debt but my Patron will surely repay it! Love to you all.

a bit of a wipe out

2010-04-17T01:17:00.001-07:00

I hadn't thought to be blogging here for a little while but I am just ending a week in bed with a heavy cold and mild bronchitis. Bronchitis can sometimes lead to pneumonia so my doctor has me on antibiotics and today is my first proper day 'up' since last Sunday.

We had a happy but busy weekend which included going to hear my 16 year old grand-daughter preaching at her church in nearby Bracknell. I was very blessed and impressed but very weary by the time we got home. I think my cold was already 'on the way' and my general weakness and the tiredness lowered my resistance even more... hence... a bit of a wipe out!

I am feeling much brighter today but am going to have to be more circumspect in my use of energy for a while I think. As ever the saints have rallied around providing lifts for my wife and daughter. We are blessed to be part of the family of God.

I have my first meeting with the radio-therapist this coming Wednesday. I think this is to talk through the procedures and formally pass me into the care of the radio-therapists. I am not expecting the treatment to begin for a few months but I should know a bit more on Wednesday. Again thank you for all your prayer.

Back from the appointment with my surgeon

2010-04-06T13:04:00.001-07:00

The visit went well and I have a four page print out of Pathology and Radiology Reports which is a mass of terms I don't understand. It must be like this sometimes for my hearers when I am preaching! ;-)

I will send copies to some of my doctor friends together with this blog and if I have misunderstood some of the implications I will correct that later.

The radical surgery went well and my 20 inch scar is healing well. The surgeon removed the entire prostate and stripped some of the lymph nodes. It seems to me that the tumour was confined to the prostate (pT2 for those who understand these things). There was no vascular invasion and the lymph nodes did not contain tumour.

A super sensitive PSA gave a figure of 0.021 ug/L which is good. So they were very satisfied with that figure.

The cancer was confirmed as extremely aggressive which is why they have more plans for me. As far as I understand it the cancer reached to within 0.1mm of the margin of the prostate and although there is no sign of cancer outside the prostate this comes so close to the margins that they want to be sure that nothing is left. So my surgeon is recommending a course of radio-therapy to clean up anything that might be in that area! He refers to it as multi-modular treatment or 'belt and braces'. The radio-therapist will make the final recommendation but he general agrees with the surgeon.

The radio-therapist, whom I have not seen yet, thinks it will be best to leave 3-6 months while the continence issues are settling and will then probably do a 6.5 week course of radiotherapy for 5 days out of each 7. That could be anywhere from July to October.

The surgeon has recommended fresh liver and black pudding to beef up my blood counts which I am looking forward to although it seems I can't get them on prescription. (my surgeon originates in Bury Lancashire, which just happens to be the place that black-pudding originates. There may be a connection between those two facts!;-))

We went for a long walk along the Thames at Henley in the afternoon and though I was very tired when we got back that was a very pleasant outing.

So unless I have to correct any of the above there is likely to be little to report for the next few weeks. Again my thanks for everyone's love and prayer.

6 weeks post op appointment due Tuesday 6th April.

2010-04-01T04:15:00.001-07:00

I went to our local GP’s blood clinic yesterday. They needed a sample of my blood to do a super-sensitive PSA test. ( a test useful after radical prostatectomy to detect early recurrences. ) PSAs stay in the blood for about 6 weeks so the idea is that by this time PSA from my prostate should have all passed through my system. If there are PSA’s is may indicate that further treatment is necessary. The data from this blood test will be in the hands of my surgeon for my 6 weeks post op appointment on Tuesday 6th. He will also have the results of the prostate and lymph nodes histology from the op itself. These two, the current PSA values and the histology from the op will the data he uses to advise on any further treatment. I will let you know the results when I have them. Thank you all again for all your prayers and good wishes and cards and emails. I am grateful for and very humbled by all your love.

now you see it, now you don't

2010-03-25T09:44:00.001-07:00

going...

going...

gone!!

by grace through faith: part 1

2010-03-12T08:10:00.001-08:00

finally got around to the first part of my thoughts on this topic. I have decided it sits better on Biblebase Second Thoughts so you can read it here

the body of this humilation

2010-03-08T11:43:00.001-08:00

This is one of Paul's descriptions of the human body. It is a 'humbled' artefact that for the Christian will one day be transformed into the likeness of Christ's own resurrection body.

This is a 'humbling' time in that I have so much I want to do but know I don't have the energy to do it. My 'get up and go' has got up and gone! But this too is another opportunity to find God's grace in new ways. I have always been blessed with an energetic disposition and don't believe I was ever 'bored' in my whole life. But the rhythms have changed and just a minimum of effort now needs an hour's recuperation. Is God sufficient for this season? Is his grace sufficient or did he not take this possibility into account when he promised to make 'all grace abound'?

It is a humbling time too in that long 'taken for granted' bodily functions now have to be carefully nursed. I understand that most men find this period the most trying of all.

I recall Christ's words to Peter that when he was young he dressed himself and went where he wanted to go but that a time would come when others would dress him and take him where he did not want to go. It was a prediction of Peter's death but the gospel writer adds this simple comment "he said this to show Peter by what death he would glorify God. Can these 'little deaths' to pride and self-sufficiency glorify God too? Yes they may... by his grace.

TWOC-ed

2010-03-05T10:37:00.001-08:00

The hospital had a bed today so I was able to get in and have the catheter removed under test conditions. All went very well, and I am home... very tired but home.

I now have a series of pelvic floor exercises to do and possibly a fairly long journey to continency. The next event on the calendar will be an appointment with the surgeon scheduled for 6 weeks 'post op'. The removed tissue will have been subjected to lots of tests and I will receive the 'histology' at that appointment. Depending on what they found will determine what future treatment lies ahead.

Again, thank you all so much for your love and prayer avalanches of good wishes. My love to you all

and I'm still home or h-day + 7

2010-03-04T11:02:00.001-08:00

The TWOC didn't happen. The hospital phoned to say that they didn't have a bed, then they phoned every couple of hours to say they still didn't have a bed. I am now to phone at 9am tomorrow and I am top of the list for a bed!!

Has God missed something? Surely not. I am keen to be rid of this last tube but I believe strongly that God has all things under his eye and I can wait!

Still home or H-Day +6

2010-03-03T02:55:00.001-08:00

I haven't got around to doing that piece on 'salvation by grace through faith' yet but it will appear soon DV.

Meantime I am home and due to return to hospital tomorrow for a TWOC I am due in at 10:00 am and then may be there until 4:00 pm or later as things 'proceed'.

I managed a brief walk outside yesterday, came back and slept for an hour! The cost of even the smallest effort still takes me by surprise. I am conserving energy by not standing in front of a mirror for 15 minutes to shave so I now have 10 days growth of beard! I wore a beard for several years, way back, over 20 years ago but it succumbed to the verse in 1 Corinthians which says a 'man's body is under his wife's control'! We'll see how long I can get away with it.

Thinking logically, 15 minutes each day is an hour and three quarters every week, which is 91 waking hours per year. Thinking in terms of a working day of 12 hours, that would give an extra working week and a half every year for my work! I have presented this case to 'she who has authority' and she has passed very little comment. I sense she is biding her time and keeping her powder dry!

Thank you for all your love and prayers and cards and emails and facebook greetings! We feel very loved!

Home again

2010-02-26T02:40:00.001-08:00

Hi, I am home... very sore and moving very slowly but home!

I see Mark my son, through Gary did a couple of updates while I was out of action but this is me again. I'll split this bulletin up into two parts the medical and the spiritual. So first the medical.

The Tuesday afternoon, night and Wednesday morning were a struggle. I had been having pain control through an epidural tube in my back. (I had tubes everywhere.. in places I didn't even know I had places! I must have looked like a Borg!) The pain control took away my control of my left leg and I had pins and needles in my left hand, so they stopped the epidural pain control and went on to oral pain control. There was an effective gap of a few hours between the two then my catheter clogged five times and that was painful, but now just a distant memory. I had a very disturbed Tuesday night and slowly, as the pain control kicked in, began to feel much better.

I was still feeling pretty washed out when the surgeon said he wanted me up and walking about! "You are over the operation. Now the biggest danger is Deep Vein Thrombosis". So on Wednesday I was inching my way up the corridors and then the surgeon said "You can go home tomorrow!".

Thursday morning I had to change from the hospital catheter to one strapped to the leg and then get dressed. I felt as though I had done day's manual labouring! I arrived home at about midday and plodded about for much of the day. There are all sorts of bodily functions than need to be reactivated so it is slow progress. Later this morning I am going to the Local Surgery to see their Practice Nurse about control of the catheter and other issues.

10 days from the surgery I return for the removal of the catheter and may need to stay overnight.

As regards long term implications... the surgeon found nothing to prevent him going ahead with the radical prostatectomy and stripping of the lymph nodes. They will need to examine these and following a thing called a 'super sensitive PSA' test will be in a position to decide whether to begin radio and/or hormone therapy.

BUT.... so far, everything has gone very well. Thank you all so much for your prayer and cards and emails. I am a blessed man! Please excuse me if I don't answer personal emails for a little while. My energy levels have plummeted and the surgeon says I must expect this for some time. I will comment as I feel able and perhaps later today say something about 'salvation by grace through faith' in everyday trials. Love you all!

Update

2010-02-24T21:54:00.000-08:00

Ron had a disturbed night (Tuesday to Wednesday), but was well during Wednesday and aiming for home Thursday.

Operation

2010-02-23T09:17:00.000-08:00

The latest news is that Ron is doing well. He had a 4-hour operation on Monday morning and was well enough for his wife to visit him in the evening. He had a good night last night and was able to sit in a chair today.

The doctors have also now stopped his epidural pain relief and removed some of the tubes. Hopefully, he will have a walk tomorrow.

Ron or the family haven't yet had a chance to speak to the surgeon, but the operation seems to have gone well.

I am sure Ron would want to thank you all for your concern, love and prayers.

Just back from the Sunday Morning Meeting

2010-02-21T05:46:00.001-08:00

..so now lunch and then off to the Royal Berkshire Hospital. I registered yesterday and dropped my things off so I just have to be there so that the surgery can take place tomorrow.

I have asked my son Mark, who is a consultant physician to drop a line or two to Gary Sims who is the webmaster for my website, and Gary will post it here on this bulletin.

It will be a few days before I can get back to my computer to write a note so thank you all again for your prayer for us. Please pray especially for the family, I shall know little of what is happening but they will be conscious and will need your prayer even more.

much love to you all

His/yours
Ron Bailey

http://ronsbulletins.blogspot.com/

www.biblebase.com
http://biblebasesecondthoughts.blogspot.com

Countdown

2010-02-17T04:31:00.001-08:00

Wed 17th Feb. Just back from the hospital pre-op appointment with my surgeon. We went over all the possibilities and risks again and the longer term implications; the surgery is now scheduled for Monday. There are two more hurdles before the surgery. On Saturday I am to be admitted to the hospital and they will rerun various blood and other tests. If those are satisfactory the admission will go ahead. The surgery will include a visual examination of the prostate and the surrounding organs and area. If the surgeon judges that all is good to proceed he will then do the op proper. As he puts in 'I maintain my right to bail out (decided against the op) until the last moment.' Currently we don't know if other treatments eg radio therapy, hormone therapy will be part of the package. He will know better when has seen things close up.

The expectation is that I could be up and moving about by the Tuesday evening and hopefully discharged from the hospital, temporarily, on the Wednesday or later. I will have to return later for removal of some temporary plumbing.

So, how am I 'feeling'?
Apprehensive but minded to get on and get it over with! Impatience and fear are both reactions to the loss of control. The human instinct to want to be 'in charge' is a temptation that returns at many stages of our pilgrimage. The temptation to 'change stones to bread' was such a temptation and my answer is the same. I choose to live my life by the words that come from God's mouth not those that come from mine. My confidence is in him rather in my ability to make choices which are more comfortable in my view.

Please pray for all the people I shall meet in the next few days. Surely the Lord has some purposes for them and for me. Paul could say that he was constantly led about in Christ's triumph procession, I pray that I may have the same testimony.

Helping to improve the statistics

2010-02-08T15:06:00.001-08:00

I had a letter from the hospital confirming my surgery. According to the letter I am to go into hospital at 10am on 20th for surgery the following day. My surgery was scheduled for 22nd so I phoned to check. Yes, they confirmed that the surgery is on 22nd. They want me to go in on the Saturday as that will help the hospital to stay in the government's timeframes. Once you are admitted, they explained, you can go home again and then return on the Sunday for surgery the following day.

It reminded me of my old home town of Stoke on Trent and a famous local story. There were complaints that the local bus service was leaving passengers standing at the bus stops. The bus company issued an explanation in which they said that they couldn't keep to their schedules if they kept on stopping to pick up passengers!

It gives me a warm feeling to think that we humble users can make such a positive contribution to official statistics! ;-)

Surgery scheduled for 22nd February

2010-01-29T04:44:00.001-08:00

I phoned the Royal Berkshire Hospital today to see if they had any more information regarding dates and was told that Mr Malone, my surgeon, was going on holiday and the earliest date given was 22nd February. I questioned the specialist nurse to ask if this delay represented any increased risk of spread. She then contacted Mr Malone who said that because of the increased risk due to the TIA (I had a very mild TIA in Nov 2006) he wanted a consultant anaesthetist to be in attendance. The earliest this can be synchronised between the two consultants is 22nd Feb.

Mr Malone has assured me, through the specialist nurse, that this period of time does not put me at increased risk of spread. He has decided that I am to continue my daily disprin even though that increases the risk of greater bleeding. The anaesthetist is happy with this. Apparently Mr Malone still wants to see me personally, as a courtesy, so I will be having another appointment some time in between now and Feb 22nd.

So I now have a period of 3 weeks before the surgery. That's long enough for me to settle down to some work, so it won't be wasted!

We are in good heart but naturally want to 'get on with it'. Our times are in His hands, not the hands of men, so we are at peace. Thank you again for all your prayer and messages.

Three minutes with the anaesthetist.

2010-01-26T05:14:00.001-08:00

We were back at the hospital today for an appointment with the anaesthetist necessitated by hospital protocols! I think that is code for some departmental territorial skirmishes but these things are not our problems. We are right on schedule and are content in that assurance.

The appointment took three minutes... a couple of questions and a little more information about epidurals and the like and now we are back in the Urology Department's care.

I will let you know as soon as we hear a date. We continue to get lots of cards and emails and the promise of prayer. We are grateful for all these and especially the assurance of prayer.

Love to you all.

the Lord is in every little detail

2010-01-25T02:07:00.001-08:00

Among the many emails and assurances of prayer that come into my email came one from a sister in the Lord in France who writes...

Can I ask you whether you have purposely called your cancer "prostRate" rather than prostate in your intro. on the blog?! If it is a typing mistake, surely the Lord is in every little detail!!!
May our days, easy and hard, help is to be prostrate before Him!!

No, it was not intentional.. on my part at any rate!

Yesterday in the our morning meeting I preached on the topic of 'an enemy has done this' from Matthew 13:28 and tried to outline the balance between the sovereign will of God and an enemy who is to be resisted even though he sometimes has the given authority to put us to trial and 'hinder' our service for God. 1Thes 2:18. Both James and Peter tell us that we are to humble ourselves under the might hand of God AND to resist the devil and he will flee from you. Getting this balance right is the key to peace of heart at such times.

From Adam's first moments man was intended to be an overcomer. He was placed in the garden in Eden to 'serve it' and to 'guard it'. The 'gatekeeper' betrayed God and his entire race and we have lived with the consequences ever since. But in the restoration that God is working the revelation of another Adam brings with it the instinct of the overcomer.

I do not 'humble myself' under this cancer, by God's grace I shall 'resist' it. I do not passively succumb to current events mindlessly but I actively submit myself to God and his current working of all things together for those who are loving him.

To use the language of my sister in France, I will not prostRate myself before this cancer or any circumstance of life. It 'cannot keep the spirit in me down' as Graham Kendrick said in one of his older songs. Even my enemies are being caused to serve me or as Wesley put it 'all the attributes divine are now at work for me'. Everything that touches my life must fall on its face, prostRate, before God. Every Dagon must yield to the God of Israel. We are the apple of his eye and his care is meticulous.

As for me, I am prostRate before him I love not from fear or because he is bigger than me but because I choose to bow to him and to no other. Thou art my God and I will praise thee.

I will not correct my spelling mistake but leave it as a reminder that God can use even the foolishness of men to serve him. ;-)

I will be your God and you shall be my people

2010-01-23T02:28:00.001-08:00

It's vital to keep this order of things. Often the temptation comes to do it 'my way' or 'in my time' which are simply variations of the oldest temptation of all that I can be my own god. Frustration, for example, is just the human response to not being allowed to 'do it my way' or 'in my time'. It is my squeal of protest when God does not allow me to be god and insists on the order of our title.

Our dog sometimes sighs. It always amazes me. This is a complex reaction. Clearly the dog has two concepts in its brain. One concept is what it wanted and the other is the concept of what it is getting. Our sighs are the same. They are the muted version of that squeal of frustration, an involuntary and wordless protest at what 'is' rather than what I 'wanted'.

These lessons have to be learned and re-learned. My surgery was on its way and I was ready... 'let's get on with it' was my answer to the consultant's advice about surgery. Now the anaesthetist has said 'Let's not get on with it until we have done some more enquiries into your general health' and depending upon whether we have a tendency to activity or passivity the reaction will be a squeal or a sigh. Unless, of course, there is grace for this moment. That would change everything.

Grace always changes reactions. It adds an ingredient that the medics can't quantify. So we are 'finding grace' and rejoicing that God is ordering our path in his own way and his own time.

For me it is another opportunity to yield to him in saying "I give my amen to this pattern of things. You be God and I'll be one of your people; it works better that way."

There is a wonderful promise in Isaiah 35 that in the fulness of Christ's coming everything will be brought under his perfect will and ... 'sorrow and sighing shall flee away'. There will be no more protests, not even muted ones.

Surgery Rescheduled?

2010-01-22T02:27:00.001-08:00

I phoned the hospital earlier today to confirm my arrival on Sunday but have been told that the *anaesthetist wants to see me before confirming that the surgery can go ahead. I now have an appointment with the anaesthetist on Tuesday 26th and no idea when surgery might follow.

This is a disappointment (or his-appointment as we have been taught to spell it) having arranged a family clan meeting and various other things for the weekend but as my old Bible college principal used to say 'the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord... and so are his stops'. Not that we make any claims to 'goodness'!

Please continue to be in prayer that all procedures will progress in perfect synchronisation with the Lord's purposes in all this. It is easy for us to become 'blinkered' by what we perceive to be the Lord's will and to forget that he works 'all things', not just those in our focus, 'for good according to his will for those who love HIm and are the called ones in his purpose.'

* anaesthetists are doctors with specialist training who decide (with my consent) what kind of anaesthetic is most appropriate and its relative risks. They also decide on pain control and manage any necessary blood transfusions.

Surgery scheduled for Monday 25th January

2010-01-20T07:29:00.001-08:00

Hi there,
Just spent 3½ hours at the hospital.

The PSA test (see earlier blog) has come in at 11, which is a good drop from the 63 which triggered the alert. This indicates that the high level was skewed by the urinary infection. If if had remained high it would have been another indication of the aggressiveness of the cancer and they would not have advised surgery but 'control' with radio therapy and hormone therapy.

The lower level means that there are more options open and the significance of this is that the consultant is now talking about cure rather than control. So he has advised open surgery to remove the prostate and the lymph nodes. This may be followed by radio therapy but in any event the PSA levels will be monitored and if it 'just so much as twitches we will zap it with radio therapy'.

I then had to go to the pre-operation preparation unit for more tests. Those all went well and if the anesthnetist?? is happy we are ready to go. In fact, it looks as though there has been a cancellation and I am now scheduled for major surgery this coming Monday 25th January. So I go in on Sunday and Mr Malon will operate first thing on Monday morning! I am then expected to me in hospital for 3-5 days before being allowed home. It could be 4-6 weeks before I am fit to drive.

There are always attendant risks with major surgery and we remain grateful for your love and prayer.

Margaret and myself were very impressed with the evident care and professionalism of Mr Shah, the urology consultant, and we had determined to agree to his advise.

We are a bit weary after the experience but are well.

We remain secure in His love and in His hands.

why me? Does God care?

2010-01-16T09:08:00.001-08:00

Of course the obvious answer is 'why not me?'. The facts of suffering and a loving God seem powerful contradictions and every thinking person must have thought these thoughts. At the time of the Asian tsunami I wrote this article for a Christian website. The Haiti earthquake has prompted me to reissue the piece. And what is true of the greater is often true of the lesser so I will give the same answer to my small scale suffering as for the big picture. You can find it on The Biblebase Second Thoughts Blog entitled 'Tsunamis, earthquakes, genocide and the love of God'. Tell me what you think.

John Piper's Testimony

2010-01-15T11:52:00.001-08:00

This is not really a bulletin but I wanted to share it all the same. I am not a Calvinist so I would want to heavily modify his first two points but I felt it touched some important areas which were well worth sharing... it's title was 'don't waste your cancer'.

1. You will waste your cancer if you do not believe it is designed for you by God.

It will not do to say that God only uses our cancer but does not design it. What God permits, he permits for a reason. And that reason is his design. If God foresees molecular developments becoming cancer, he can stop it or not. If he does not, he has a purpose. Since he is infinitely wise, it is right to call this purpose a design. Satan is real and causes many pleasures and pains. But he is not ultimate. So when he strikes Job with boils (Job 2:7), Job attributes it ultimately to God (2:10) and the inspired writer agrees: “They . . . comforted him for all the evil that the Lord had brought upon him” (Job 42:11). If you don’t believe your cancer is designed for you by God, you will waste it.

2. You will waste your cancer if you believe it is a curse and not a gift.

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). “Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us” (Galatians 3:13). “There is no enchantment against Jacob, no divination against Israel” (Numbers 23:23). “The Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly” (Psalm 84:11).

3. You will waste your cancer if you seek comfort from your odds rather than from God.

The design of God in your cancer is not to train you in the rationalistic, human calculation of odds. The world gets comfort from their odds. Not Christians. Some count their chariots (percentages of survival) and some count their horses (side effects of treatment), but we trust in the name of the Lord our God (Psalm 20:7). God’s design is clear from 2 Corinthians 1:9, “We felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.” The aim of God in your cancer (among a thousand other good things) is to knock props out from under our hearts so that we rely utterly on him.

4. You will waste your cancer if you refuse to think about death.

We will all die, if Jesus postpones his return. Not to think about what it will be like to leave this life and meet God is folly. Ecclesiastes 7:2 says, “It is better to go to the house of mourning [a funeral] than to go to the house of feasting, for this is the end of all mankind, and the living will lay it to heart.” How can you lay it to heart if you won’t think about it? Psalm 90:12 says, “Teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” Numbering your days means thinking about how few there are and that they will end. How will you get a heart of wisdom if you refuse to think about this? What a waste, if we do not think about death.

5. You will waste your cancer if you think that “beating” cancer means staying alive rather than cherishing Christ.

Satan’s and God’s designs in your cancer are not the same. Satan designs to destroy your love for Christ. God designs to deepen your love for Christ. Cancer does not win if you die. It wins if you fail to cherish Christ. God’s design is to wean you off the breast of the world and feast you on the sufficiency of Christ. It is meant to help you say and feel, “I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.” And to know that therefore, “To live is Christ, and to die is gain” (Philippians 3:8; 1:21).

6. You will waste your cancer if you spend too much time reading about cancer and not enough time reading about God.

It is not wrong to know about cancer. Ignorance is not a virtue. But the lure to know more and more and the lack of zeal to know God more and more is symptomatic of unbelief. Cancer is meant to waken us to the reality of God. It is meant to put feeling and force behind the command, “Let us know; let us press on to know the Lord” (Hosea 6:3). It is meant to waken us to the truth of Daniel 11:32, “The people who know their God shall stand firm and take action.” It is meant to make unshakable, indestructible oak trees out of us: “His delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers” (Psalm 1:2). What a waste of cancer if we read day and night about cancer and not about God.

7. You will waste your cancer if you let it drive you into solitude instead of deepen your relationships with manifest affection.

When Epaphroditus brought the gifts to Paul sent by the Philippian church he became ill and almost died. Paul tells the Philippians, “He has been longing for you all and has been distressed because you heard that he was ill” (Philippians 2:26-27). What an amazing response! It does not say they were distressed that he was ill, but that he was distressed because they heard he was ill. That is the kind of heart God is aiming to create with cancer: a deeply affectionate, caring heart for people. Don’t waste your cancer by retreating into yourself.

8. You will waste your cancer if you grieve as those who have no hope.

Paul used this phrase in relation to those whose loved ones had died: “We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope” (1 Thessalonians 4:13). There is a grief at death. Even for the believer who dies, there is temporary loss—loss of body, and loss of loved ones here, and loss of earthly ministry. But the grief is different—it is permeated with hope. “We would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord” (2 Corinthians 5:8). Don’t waste your cancer grieving as those who don’t have this hope.

9. You will waste your cancer if you treat sin as casually as before.

Are your besetting sins as attractive as they were before you had cancer? If so you are wasting your cancer. Cancer is designed to destroy the appetite for sin. Pride, greed, lust, hatred, unforgiveness, impatience, laziness, procrastination—all these are the adversaries that cancer is meant to attack. Don’t just think of battling against cancer. Also think of battling with cancer. All these things are worse enemies than cancer. Don’t waste the power of cancer to crush these foes. Let the presence of eternity make the sins of time look as futile as they really are. “What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself?” (Luke 9:25).

10. You will waste your cancer if you fail to use it as a means of witness to the truth and glory of Christ.

Christians are never anywhere by divine accident. There are reasons for why we wind up where we do. Consider what Jesus said about painful, unplanned circumstances: “They will lay their hands on you and persecute you, delivering you up to the synagogues and prisons, and you will be brought before kings and governors for my name’s sake. This will be your opportunity to bear witness” (Luke 21:12 -13). So it is with cancer. This will be an opportunity to bear witness. Christ is infinitely worthy. Here is a golden opportunity to show that he is worth more than life. Don’t waste it.

Remember you are not left alone. You will have the help you need. “My God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19).

Pastor John

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Urology Consultation: 13th Jan 2010

2010-01-14T05:25:00.001-08:00

I am overwhelmed with the expressions of love and promises of prayer that are coming in daily. It is a source of great encouragement to know that so many are holding me in their hearts before the Lord.

On Wednesday 13th I had an appointment with my consultant urologist. Like my son Mark, he is an army doctor based in an NHS hospital. I was very impressed with his attitude and the care expressed. I had hoped that the information gained from the CT scan and the bone scan would have completed the data gathering so that the course ahead could be charted.

There is a delay which is being caused by a high PSA value (I’m not going to explain these terms. If you click on the words in red they should take you to some medical explanations.. and those who fear an information overload can just give them a miss!). There is a suspicion that I may have had a urinary infection which may have skewed the results. So today I had more blood taken and I have a further appointment scheduled for next Wednesday. 20th Jan 2010 when we should know the current PSA values.
My son Mark, who is himself a consultant physician in general medicine, infectious diseases and tropical medicine, is in touch with my urologist, so the discussion is ‘on going’.

So I will update this again when things are a little more in focus.

Please forgive me if this blog seems a little mechanical but I shall spend most of my days answering emails and telephone calls unless I can encourage people to keep up to date with the bulletin board. I think you will understand that I don’t want my days to be completely taken up with my cancer and its treatment and with telling the same story over and over. I do value all your love and care.

Please take a look at my blog at my blog entitled "a fearless future". This will give you some idea of how I am feeling.

"LORD, it is nothing for You to help, whether with many or with those who have no power; help us, O LORD our God, for we rest on You, and in Your name we go... 2Chr 14:11

New Readers, please start here!

2010-01-14T03:03:00.000-08:00

I am greatly blessed and encouraged by the response from so many in different parts of the world to my diagnosis of prostrate cancer... and a little overwhelmed by the task of keeping everyone in the loop. I hope this blog doesn't seem too 'over the top' to use the power of modern technology to assist in the task and it is not intended as an alternative to ordinary means of communication but merely an addition.

If this is your first intimation of my illness I apologise for bursting so abruptly into your mail box. Here is the first bulletin that I wrote on 8th January 2010

I was first diagnosed as having prostate cancer on 30th December after having had a biopsy earlier in the month and since then the medics have been collected more data to enable decisions regarding treatment.

8th Jan 2010

On Monday I had an MRI scan and a 'flow test'. I await the results of the MRI scan but the initial comment on the 'flow test' was that it was 'good'. My understanding is that this may give more options for treatment.

Today I went for a Bone Scan, where gamma radiated dye is inserted into the blood stream to enable a better scan of the bones.

The results from these three tests will become the basic data that the urology surgeon will use on Wednesday 13th to determine future treatment. The initial comments, but very early, are than it looks as if the cancer is contained (which is 'good') but that it is very aggressive; Gleason Scale 9. ( which is not 'good'). Unofficial conversations with medical people have brought up the prospect of 'radical prostatectomy'. That is regarded as 'major surgery'.

I will try to keep this note updated so that those who wish can keep up with things and I trust pray.

We are in good heart but the next real step is scheduled for Wed 13th. Thank you all for your love and prayer.